I can do it alone. It would be better with friends.

OK so what are you doing, ruminating? Yes you are homeless. This is temporary. Give it no additional weight. OK you're flipping out because of your lack of a home (life) at the holidays. So visualize something better:

What do holidays look like for 50 year old you? Eid with family and friends.

By 50? OK fine. Brunch with Mom. That would be just fine for me.

Visualize 2027. Pivoting away from Philadelphia into something overseas, maybe renting there to establish an address.

That's what it is: I want someone to be thinking of me and be concerned. Apart from my mother. It's my mother's job to think of me and be concerned.

I'm not sure she'd do it for free.